21 day water fast: day 21

gratitude-sunriseI woke up into the darkness, with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude: for the universe, for Réka and the opportunity to be here – as well as for the fast itself.  I sat down to meditate, with the expanse of gratitude laid out as a back-drop to everything in my mind.  It felt and continues to feel like an inner smile expanding from all directions in and around my heart.  Everywhere, almost as if my body were breathing the mantra: ‘thank you, thank you, thank you…’

I’m just so grateful. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 21

21 day water fast: days 12, 13, 14

can't sleepI’ve not written in the last couple of days because there really hasn’t been any significant change to talk about.  Subtle shifts, yes, but it’s taken a couple of days to establish whether these are real or just my imagination.

Maybe first and foremost has been a gradually rise in mental energy – as opposed to physical energy which, although slightly stronger, still falls into the “hitting the wall” category of debilitating weakness.  Over the last few days I’ve had to take care of some work on the computer.  My concentration and focus has been totally 100%, and in terms of stamina has been well above my everyday standard.  I put in a couple of eight-hour days without any breaks and without any fatigue.  The funny thing is that I’ve managed this on increasingly less and less sleep.  I just don’t get tiredContinue reading 21 day water fast: days 12, 13, 14

21 day water fast: day 11

old age roadsignWell, at this point I’m over the half-way point of the fast.  I would’ve thought it should feel like an emotional milestone, but it just feels like another day.  Physically, as well, there are no changes to speak of.  So far, the detox process during this fast has been extremely smooth.  Whereas in previous fasts there were periods of strong cleansing symptoms followed by rest periods – and the duration of these were seemingly random – there have been only minimal ups and downs throughout.  I suspect this is because previous fasting has eliminated the most urgent issues.  The only consistent symptom throughout has been a white, coated tongue, and the smell from my armpits.  Otherwise, I haven’t felt the sensation of old running injuries for days now.  I do think, though, that since yesterday morning I’ve entered a stronger period of detox, Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 11

21 day water fast: day 10

samadhi in forestNothing much new to report today, except that I’ve noticed a couple of trends.

The first change relates to weight loss.  From Day Three to Day Seven, I lost weight extremely consistently – at the rate of .5 kg per day – whereas over the past three days (since Day Eight) this has reduced to a consistent .4 kg per day: something I’m rather glad about, given my general lack of fat stores!  I know daily weight loss is supposed to gradually lessen as the fast lengthens.  I’m interested to see to what extent this pattern develops over the remaining eleven days.

The other change has been to my eyesight.  Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 10

21 day water fast: day 9

alone in the parkIn the same way that they say that the perceptive midpoint of an 80-year lifespan is around 30-35 years, I suppose that today should be more or less the perceptive midpoint of this 21-day fast.  I wonder…

I’m heading back to the country and solitude after ‘lunch’.  That’s a laugh, isn’t it?  We’re so defined by eating that we even divide up the day in terms of mealtimes!  I feel a hint of uneasiness in being alone again, of resettling back into a state of undisturbed emptiness. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 9

21 day water fast: day 8

virusLast night woke after four hours sleep and couldn’t go back to sleep.  After lying in bed for a while I meditated, which for the first time since beginning the fast, actually felt natural and good, not a chore.  I don’t know whether my resistance to meditation and yoga during the first week of fasting has been because it feels contrived, given that my general state of consciousness during the day (as well as during the sleepless hours during the night) is one of a natural vipasanna anyway, or whether the problem is that meditating feels too much like doing something.

Overall, I’ve been averaging around five hours of sleep a night since Day Six, which is certainly well less than my usual amount.  Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 8

21 day water fast: day 2

the voidToday has been one of extremes.  The morning was again spent in a frenetic whirlwind of doing: tidying up and rearranging the house to make it liveable.  I finished mid-afternoon and went outside to sit.  Just sit and be.  In that moment, it hit me again like a wave: the conflict inside me.

Sitting with the feeling, I don’t think the root of the emotion is in feeling somehow guilty for leaving the family behind.  No.  That’s just a cover for the truth.  No, it’s safer to feel the conflict and be distracted by it, than to be confronted with the raw truth – the raw truth of being. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 2

Running as meditation (or how to meditate while running)

The Zone: we all know it.  We’ve all been there before.  It’s the holy grail of running experience, and the reason that some people hit the road in the first place.  But how much time do you actually spend there, in that elusive place of weightlessness, timelessness, pure effortlessness and Flow?  Whatever figure comes to mind, the answer is surely “not enough”. Continue reading Running as meditation (or how to meditate while running)

Space, energy and the spiritual path

space+energy fractal_framedEverything that exists in this world can be described in two basic terms: space and energy, yin and yang, form and content, shiva and shakti… The atoms in your body, the thoughts in your mind: everything is just a dance between these two fundamental elements.  Does this sound strangely abstract or theoretical?

If so, meditation and yoga can provide a means for discovering the very real space and energy inside you.  Endless space.  Pure energy. Continue reading Space, energy and the spiritual path