Driving into town yesterday provided a reference point about how my consciousness has naturally and gradually opened from a more focussed perspective. In retrospect, the whole trip itself provided another, deeper reference point, because since then – in breaking the solitude and continuity of being here at the cottage, as well as in buying the food which will break the 21 days of pure water – I keep finding myself thinking about the approaching end of the fast. With only three more days to go, perhaps this would have been inevitable anyway, but certainly yesterday’s brief return to civilisation has intensified the feeling. In thinking forward to Day 21, part of me is looking forward to eating, but it’s not a very strong voice. I’m not planning any feasts in my fantasy of fantasies. (The only thing I’m really looking forward to is giving up this almost cripplingly low blood pressure.) Another part of me is preparing to bid farewell to these truly amazing three weeks. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 18
The first change relates to weight loss. From Day Three to Day Seven, I lost weight extremely consistently – at the rate of .5 kg per day – whereas over the past three days (since Day Eight) this has reduced to a consistent .4 kg per day: something I’m rather glad about, given my general lack of fat stores! I know daily weight loss is supposed to gradually lessen as the fast lengthens. I’m interested to see to what extent this pattern develops over the remaining eleven days.
The other change has been to my eyesight. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 10
Like yesterday, another slow start this morning with low blood pressure, and I had to be careful not to stand up too quickly after lying or sitting. I feel slow too, like Earth’s gravity has increased somewhat: almost as if I’m wearing an Apollo spacesuit. Mentally I’m totally fine, but for the past couple of days it hasn’t felt good to exert myself physically. Back on Day Three, for instance, I decided to do some leg lifts and a plank – something which has been part of my daily routine for years. After a few minutes of the plank, though, I felt a lot of resistance building up inside myself. I know I could have held out for the usual 7 minutes, but it just wasn’t worth it. To a lesser degree the same applied to the leg lifts. Why? Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 5
Today has been one of extremes. The morning was again spent in a frenetic whirlwind of doing: tidying up and rearranging the house to make it liveable. I finished mid-afternoon and went outside to sit. Just sit and be. In that moment, it hit me again like a wave: the conflict inside me.
Sitting with the feeling, I don’t think the root of the emotion is in feeling somehow guilty for leaving the family behind. No. That’s just a cover for the truth. No, it’s safer to feel the conflict and be distracted by it, than to be confronted with the raw truth – the raw truth of being. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 2