This is my big news. Five hours in a single stretch: literally the first time for more than two weeks. I know the natural assumption is that it must feel like a relief, but, honestly, it’s not that simple. Of course, there’s always the relief of slipping back into a familiar old habit – and for me, five hours in one stretch is the norm, since I normally rise to meditate after this. But it’s also much more complicated. Once my biorhythm had accepted and acclimatised to the fasting routine of sleeping two hours and then rising, there was a certain beauty in sitting to meditate in the dead of night instead of the pre-dawn hours, there was a certain peace in sitting afterwards to write, with the silence of the night allowing my mind to express itself in an effortless, uninterrupted flow. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 22 (follow up)
I woke up into the darkness, with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude: for the universe, for Réka and the opportunity to be here – as well as for the fast itself. I sat down to meditate, with the expanse of gratitude laid out as a back-drop to everything in my mind. It felt and continues to feel like an inner smile expanding from all directions in and around my heart. Everywhere, almost as if my body were breathing the mantra: ‘thank you, thank you, thank you…’
I’m just so grateful. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 21
Today is the last full day of fasting. By the evening I’ll already be into Day 21. The feeling, which came to me as I woke up this morning, is that of when you’re about to say goodbye to an old friend whom you know you’re not going to see for a while. There’s an element of regret in parting from each other, but you know that your friendship is stronger than the time and distance you’ll be spending apart. And besides, you know you’ll meet again… Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 20
Driving into town yesterday provided a reference point about how my consciousness has naturally and gradually opened from a more focussed perspective. In retrospect, the whole trip itself provided another, deeper reference point, because since then – in breaking the solitude and continuity of being here at the cottage, as well as in buying the food which will break the 21 days of pure water – I keep finding myself thinking about the approaching end of the fast. With only three more days to go, perhaps this would have been inevitable anyway, but certainly yesterday’s brief return to civilisation has intensified the feeling. In thinking forward to Day 21, part of me is looking forward to eating, but it’s not a very strong voice. I’m not planning any feasts in my fantasy of fantasies. (The only thing I’m really looking forward to is giving up this almost cripplingly low blood pressure.) Another part of me is preparing to bid farewell to these truly amazing three weeks. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 18
Today I went into town to buy fruit for the end of my fast. The thought of going to the shops had a certain exotic excitement to it – in contrast to my usual apathy towards shopping. And yet, mixed into the feeling was also one of slight sadness that the fast is going to end soon.
Driving the 10km from the village into town, I realised that I’m really not quite with it… Doing the driving felt very different from last week, when I had to go back home for a few days. Then, it felt no different from usual. But now… Now, it felt like my consciousness was occupying a whole field surrounding my body, rather than simply being in my body – or, more precisely, being my body. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 17
Physically, no changes to speak of. I slept more last night – a good five or six hours. Maybe in the end I really have been sleeping too little. One more thought on that. The nights when I caught no more than literally two or three hours tended to follow the days I was working long hours on the computer. It’s true that my mind has been flying with complete and effortless focus, but I wonder whether it’s also started to wind up my energy levels more than otherwise. Compared to our everyday carbohydrate-based metabolism, I’ve always found ketosis to be slower reacting to the body’s changing energy requirements: slower to fire up in the morning and slower to fire down at night. Perhaps it’s possible that the higher daily energy levels demanded by my work were also continuing afterwards, into and even through the night. Anyway, I’m glad there’s no longer a need for any more craziness. Things are calming down again, so that the remaining days will increasingly stretch out without any demands for work, deadlines and the like. Lots of time to be. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 15
I’m not usually in the habit of religiously watching football, but last night I found myself glued to the television for the first time in zonks. First it was Italy versus Spain, and when the players weren’t actually throwing themselves to the ground and writhing around in their usual death-throes, I found it utterly captivating the way that the universe unfolded through each moment of play. Every movement held infinite potential in the way the ball was passed or not passed, received or intercepted, the way that shots on goal were on target or wide of the mark and, ultimately, ended up either in the net or not. Perhaps for the first time in my life I understood the thrill of the gambler about to throw the dice, because literally anything can happen. In the almost infinite number of possible outcomes there lies an almost infinite potential for excitement, as life spontaneously self-creates before you. Continue reading Brexit, hubris and the symbolic language of the universe
The first change relates to weight loss. From Day Three to Day Seven, I lost weight extremely consistently – at the rate of .5 kg per day – whereas over the past three days (since Day Eight) this has reduced to a consistent .4 kg per day: something I’m rather glad about, given my general lack of fat stores! I know daily weight loss is supposed to gradually lessen as the fast lengthens. I’m interested to see to what extent this pattern develops over the remaining eleven days.
The other change has been to my eyesight. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 10
Tomorrow Britain votes in what could be the most fundamentally life-changing referendum in the history of the world. Is this mere hyperbole, exaggeration to grab your attention? No, in one sense, the decision will impact not just on the citizens of the UK, but on those of the entire EU and, by broader implication, the entire universe. It sounds like it could be the stuff of a Marvel comic strip. Superheros on either side of the debate… The great and the good pitted against the forces of darkness… Continue reading Brexit and global spiritual consciousness
So here we are, another milestone in the fast: the end of the first week and, with it, the first third of my planned duration. I feel good, just physically slow in ev-er-y-thing. But this new tempo – precisely because of its more leisurely, deliberate speed, as well as because it’s different to what I’m used to – also evokes an increased consciousness in everything I do.
This morning I’ve noticed a lot of muscles making their presence felt. My shoulders and thighs are very subtly sore – low and behold, completely matching the muscles used to carry the fridge yesterday! Normally, I wouldn’t have felt anything today, but again this proves the point that while fasting it’s extremely important not to overstress your body physically. You can do lasting damage to it, as Gandhi demonstrated. Quite bluntly, muscle damage was done yesterday (no matter how minimally), whereas normally such exertion would have been well within my normal capacity. Continue reading 21 day water fast: day 7