…For most people, yes, forgiveness is inextricably tied to forgetfulness. Think of the saying: ‘Only time can heal.’ Why? Because over time you have a chance to forget the pain and injustices inflicted upon you. Let’s be fair: this process often does seem to work well enough with day-to-day problems. Some pain, though, is simply too great to forget. It lingers on in your body and tears – and even when you sleep, in your dreams. As much as, rationally, you want to get on with your life, as much as, rationally, you know it would be good for you to forgive, you simply can’t. Why? Because you can’t forget.

In the end, forgetting can never provide a lasting solution. While the conscious mind may forget, a part of you always remembers: your subconscious, your physical body, your deepest level of self or ‘soul’. Somewhere, a taste always remains.

The only path to a more lasting forgiveness lies in precisely the opposite direction: by remembering in the deepest possible sense of the word. The modern English word ‘remember’ derives from the Latin ‘rememorari,’ which is composed of two parts: ‘re-‘ (‘again’) and ‘memorari’ (‘to be mindful or conscious of’). In this sense, the saying ‘only time can heal’ holds even truer. For it is only over time that you can mindfully hold in your consciousness the cause of your pain, again and again, until you are ready to let it go. In thoughts and dreams, your subconscious knocks on the door, replaying your traumas again and again, ‘remembering’ and reminding you until you are able to accept whatever has occurred. It brings to mind the Greek myth of Sisyphus, who was condemned to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to let it roll back down again, repeating the process for eternity. His crime: trickery and deceitfulness. Forgetting, in a way, is no different. It, too, is a convenient ‘trick’ or ‘sleight of hand’, so that you don’t have to deal with your issues. If only it were possible to quietly brush the less pleasant things in life into a corner somewhere! If only… But like Sisyphus’ boulder, the weight of all your pains and fears will continue to bear down on you, again and again, until you deal more consciously with life…